I am NOT Super Mom.

I find myself wanting to write. Alot. I "used to" write well, write often, write just to tell my husband how much I love him, write to figure out what in the world was on my mind.

Just write.

Now, I so often find doubt. I doubt whether anyone ever REALLY cares what I have to say. Or, if what I say will ever touch someone and help them, even if for an instant. In this day of Facebook and publicly declaring everytime you need to pee, I often wonder if we (I) am desensitized to the rambling on or musings of others. Just to be honest, I often doubt myself.

Since we're putting it all out there.

If one more person asks me "HOW DO YOU DO IT ALL?!" I might just scream. L-i-t-e-r-a-l-l-y. I don't "do" it all. I have four kids, my closet looks like a laundry hamper exploded (and just to be clear, folding clothes happens to be Nate's job), my floor always needs sweeping, my bathroom sink has tooth paste stuck in about every corner, there is a pile of diapers that accumulate on my floor each night and quite often a meal consists of cheese and yogurt.

I DON'T DO IT ALL.

I manage to get by in the monotony of "Mommy's" and tantrums and breastfeeding. I ONLY go all the places I go because I have found that being OUT means car rides, which means carseats. Roughly translated: my children are LOCKED into one spot and often they enjoy being out so much they resist the incessant urge to whine. I rarely sleep and feel rested, I don't often hold conversations about something other than poop and I truly can't speak in full sentences anymore.

On a side note: I firmly believe that with each kid, you lose half of your brain cells. I am running dangerously low at this point. So low, I am unable to do the math to give you the percentage of cells I still have. Not true...I am being dramatic. I currently have 6.25% of my original brain cells.

I love my kids, I love my husband and I love our not so little family. I wish there was more of me to go around. I desire the knowledge and patience to raise my kids the way I have always dreamt and I hope that everytime my husband goes out the door to work, he leaves a little happier with our life than the day before.

I am NOT Super Mom. I am NOT Super Wife. I am normal Mom, a normal wife who often finds herself halfway to crazy and not far from sane.