Sarah Turned 16

This was written on December 5, 2015...

16 years ago, this girl right here made me a Mama.  I look at her, not believing how incredibly lucky and blessed I am to have become her Mama.  God knew what he was doing when he gave us this beautiful soul.  Sarah Ashley Tinker, you are one of the greatest gifts ever given to me by God.  

I conceived Sarah just days after turning 18, though in many ways she wasn't my first child, she was just the first one I birthed.  I remember finding out I was pregnant.  Terrified of what the result would say on that test.  But the second I saw two pink lines, I smiled.  I was scared, in shock and in love with this little person I created.  We didn't have a lot of positive support, early on.  The Tinker/Smith family never wavered their love, even when a bit worried for us.  We found out we were due right about Christmas and started preparing how we could.  

Rich, working and going to school.  Myself, finishing high school, working and attending college classes.  Rich and I loved each other but we were not in love.  We created this amazing little human being, growing in my belly, but there was nothing more.  We did the "right" thing, the thing we were pushed into by our families.  We got married on December 3, 1999.  We knew it wasn't right when we said "I do" but it was made clear by my family that if Rich were going to be allowed to be a present parent, we HAD to be married or else he couldn't be around.

On December 4, 1999, I went to Good Samaritan Hospital in San Jose.  I was in early labor.  I wasn't due for three weeks and was totally unprepared mentally.  There was a lot of fear but looking back, I realize it was because of the voices I allowed in my birthing space.  We had a relatively quick labor for a first time Mom-I showed up around 1300 and settled in to our lovely suite.  The same suite that my sister had been born in, I believe!

On December 5th, 1999 at 0459, our sweet baby entered the world.  "It's a girl!!" was delivered cheerfully by the hospital staff and I dropped my jaw in shock, even while crying and clutching my baby to my chest.  I swore up and down I was going to have a boy!  I'm so happy my intuition was wrong.  Sarah has been such a blessing.

It's been 16 years, not all easy.  Sarah now has two Dads and two Moms.  She is the oldest of 7 children.  She has truly grown in the blink of an eye and I can't believe she's almost an "adult."  So grateful to God for blessing and enriching our lives so greatly.